Neither rain, nor snow, nor clothes!?

Saturday morning, J-Pop helped me go over my map of the Miura Peninsula and trace my previous hikes with a highlighter. It's kind of surprising how far I have walked. I'm used to maps of the USA where the scale is pretty big. I forget how small Japan really is (roughly the size of California). It renews my interest to hike the entire country!

After breakfast and mapwork, J-Pop and Ma decided to take me sightseeing.

Our first stop was Perry Park. Commodore Perry landed near this spot. It has a small museum and a huge memorial stone. Thanks Commodore for opening Japan up with your black ships!

Next we headed to the location of an Edo era (1603-1867) lighthouse. I was really impressed with this old wooden structure. Then J-Pop ruined the illusion. He showed me that the wood was really concrete made to look like wood.

A view across Tokyo Bay to Chiba

It wasn't until seeing these rocks break the surface of the water that I could really see where many rock gardens get their inspiration.

This is the oldest electric lighthouse in Japan. It was made in 1869. The lady on top was bidding us to come up for the view (200 yen ea.)

View from the lighthouse

These young fellers are on a work field trip for the post office. The guy kind of in the middle (in a suit) spotted me in the lighthouse and announced in English that he was cold. I agreed that it was a little cold. We then shared a broken English/Japanese conversation about me being married, not in the military, him being single. I told him not to worry and to enjoy being single. And finally I found someone to compliment about the Japanese Post Office's mascot (see picture below). I could tell from their reactions they agreed with me. Before we left, I had to pose for two pictures with them.

The Post Office Mascot (go-go boots, vinyl shorty-shorts, and vinyl tank top?)

A small cemetery near the lighthouse trail and ocean.

Fisherman on an outcropping near the lighthouse park

My Secret Identity

I don't know why I'm doing the "Captain Morgan was here" stance. I was feeling majestic and in need of a stiff drink, maybe. And no, I'm not going to a funeral. Just because I'm in a suit doesn't mean somebody died (that I know). I had to meet a group to discuss English lessons! I thought that many of would like to see "Professional" me. It's kind scary. Where are my cargo pants?

My secret identity.

Maeda River Trail Misc. Pictures

"See no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil" shrine at a street corner.

A wall of shrines at a temple along the way.
Our lunchtime view.

More critters from the creek.

Somebody told me this shrine was important to find.

See? There are trees in Japan.

This cat snuck up on me during lunch.

A boat. In the ocean.

I'm only showing the picture above and the picture below to express that during the first couple of hours of the trip, I had to use the restroom so bad. The aural and visual stimuli provided by these sights (and more) did not help my condition. During some stops I'd notice some members of the party missing. I just knew they were sneaking off and taking care of business but I wasn't sure. I couldn't take the chance of sneaking off and being discovered. It might have disrupted the group dynamics.

Maeda Kawa Trail

The J-Fam decided to send me on another walk. J-Pop called his friend from work who volunteers his time, once a month, to lead expeditions around local freshwater sources. He and his group check the water quality and check the floral and fauna (mostly fauna). I had to meet a lady named Murata-san at a nearby bus stop. From there, another lady joined us, and about three buses later, we arrived at our starting point.

We started at the ocean in a place called Sagami Bay. This lady dashed into my shot and I decided to keep it. When you're shooting pics and saving batteries, it's kind of like making a B movie. You only do one "take" of a scene. If it were a clear day, you could see Fuji in this picture. As an alternative, look at her cap. It's roughly the same shape.

I snapped this picture when I thought the entire group arrived. I can't remember the leader's name (Hatakashi or something similar), but he's standing on the far left. The man in blue is over 80 years old- amazing. This group had about 20 years of age on the group from my other walk. Still, I was the youngster. In jeans and an olive drab jacket I felt kind of uncolorful. They all made introductions and after the leader spoke I noticed some movement away from me so I knew it was my turn. Leader (English): Now you introduce by your own self. Me (Japanese): My name is Jory. Now I am living in Japan. I'm from Oklahoma. [pause: everybody else had a much longer intro] In Oklahoma, we don't have an ocean." I was greeted with applause and polite laughter, followed by murmurs of "Such good Japanese!" By the way, everybody says this, even if all you've said is "Nice to meet you."

We stopped at our first water quality testing site. I was still new to the group dynamic so I just stood around and watched. The lady in the red vest is Murata-san. She adopted me the most. After all, she's the one that made sure I made it to the trailhead.

This was our second stop. We stopped about three times. People would busy themselves with whatever test or measurement they were required to do. The leader's job was to dash into the river and find little animals in his net. He had one other netter that did his best to find some specimens. I was wearing sneakers so I did not grab an extra net and help. If I go again next month, I will definitely get some rubber boots.

Foreground: The leader's technique for finding stuff. Background: His helper.

To my surprise, he found all sorts of things in just a few siftings of muck. A fish called ayu (Ahh! You!), baby dragonflies, shrimp, and various waterbugs.

He also found some snail thingies that are somehow important to the feeding of young fireflies.

The leader had an experienced eye for finding things. Here is a very large group of frog eggs and a few tadpoles. He called me over to this find and said (he spoke basic English) ,"Do you know this one?" Unknown to him, I looked up the word for frog earlier and quickly replied "Frog eggs?" He's not going to pop quiz me.

The group checked the water but they also took time to unblock mucked up creeks. The leader jumped a fence and proceeded to poke the ground with a stick and two more rubbered fellows quickly picked up on the task.

The trail was quite varied. We walked on roads and through cane and bamboo so thick that you couldn't see your footing. Before we tromped off through the jungle above, I heard whispers of awe, "First time to go this way!" For most Japanese that have never trailblazed before, they were very excited to get to try this out.

We walked directly up one area of a small river. Rubber boots would have been very handy for this area. It took all my skills, learned in the jungles of Oklahoma, to not put my shoes underwater.

The leader climbed this mudwall, used a garden trowel to dig out little steps for the rest of us. He then produced a rope from his backpack and set up a railing. Now this is my kind of hike!

The most scenic part of the walk was along the trail of the Maeda Kawa (kawa=river). It was a manicured trail and there were stepping stones along the sides of it that crossed it many times. I would definitely like to come here again on my own.

We broke for lunch and I decided to get a snapshot. The guy closest to me is Kawasaki-san. He was extremely nice and we managed to have a few little conversations. The lady on the right rode with me and Murata-san from the busstop. The oldtimer is next. Our leader is in the back.

This crew wast crazy for kinoko (mushrooms). There was a very large amount on the underside of this tree and Kawasaki (with a little 1-2-3! help from the leader) scrambled up to knock them all down.

At the end of the walk, the mushroom spoils were divided. I passed for my share of the booty since I didn't know what I'd do with it.

I guess our leader had been here before, because he took those of us that wanted to walk, up a hill to some kind of rural dwelling. I think they make charcoal here from wood or bamboo.

The goal of this little sideventure was this photograph hanging on the ceiling from one of that lady's sheds. It's a picture of the Prince and Princess who visited this place once. Talk about off the beaten path.

At the top of one corner of a bend in the river was this little shrine. Those people on the left are getting water from a natural spring that feeds here. There were about 5 more people and three cars lined up to get water. It's supposed to make great coffee.

I'm ont sure about the total distance. It was less than my other walk, but it took longer with all the detours and river navigations. At the end we all said thanks to the leader and once again he said a few words and the group all turned to look at me. This being my cue I said I had a lovely time. Once again, I was greeted with applause and bows. That's really a great feeling. You can just say something simple and you're greeted like you just won the election. I almost don't want to learn anymore Japanese.

Okurahoma-Jin

It's been raining here for the last couple of days so I haven't been out much. I was just sitting here going through some picture folders on my desktop and was looking at a couple from a couple of days before we left Oklahoma. Some of our friends met up with us for a bon voyage lunch. I said thanks that day but I still feel appreciation for all of them. They became our friends (some more recently and some farther back) and helped us in life.

So, thank you and arigatougozaimasu!

Yoshie, Joey, Noriko, Yukiko, Noriko, John, Kumi

T.J., Troy, Yoshie, Joey, Noriko, Yukiko, Noriko, Kumi, Part of John's Head

Adopt-a-Gaijin Walkathon

The family decided that I needed to go on an organized walk. They checked in the paper and found one. Today I went with the walking club from 9am to 3pm. We hit about three different parks in Yokosuka, for about 13km and then we all went our separate ways. I was the only gaijin and I was the only person uner 50 years old. But these old people could really move. The pace was quick and steady. In all there were over 100 people on the walk. One man started up a conversation with me from the beginning. Sofue Marabu was the name on his business card. His American travels are limited to excursions to Hawaii. As the walk started, a lady named Takayo kidnapped me. She adopted me for the day. During bathroom breaks, old people would wander over to say (in English) ,"How do you like Japan?" and "Is the walking fun?"

Picture by Sofue Marabu.

I thought some of these people were waiting for a bus. In reality, they all signed up for the walk. Before we did our group warm up exercises, they asked me to come to the front and introduced me. My introduction was met with clapping and bows!

About 2/3 of the trail was off the road and in tree-lined paths. The bamboo groves were cool.

The guy with the megaphone spoke a little English. His job was to tell people when to take a break and what time we'd be moving on, etc. His English was just good enough to tell me what time we were leaving. At different times, people would sneak up on my side and demonstrate their English skills.

Low-fat view from the top of the Plum Orchard Park.

Regular view

Takayo-san took this picture of me. I tried to get a picturd of her but she politefully refused. She's not maried and lives in Tokyo with her 93 yearold mother. She lived in Nebraska for two years working on the Winnebago reservation so her English was pretty good. I'm wondering if on these types of events if somebody always adopts the token white boy. They might even take turns.

The observation deck at the top of the plum orchard

Here is a view of the group leaders. I felt like part of a demonstration. They walked with the flag of their club. Here,they were just inviting everyone back in a couple of days for a different hike. One old man, walked up to me and said "If you enjoy this walking, please join us again." Everyone ws really nice.

Here's a view of what the train station map looks like. At first, the only thing it resembled was a wall out of the engineering room from Star Trek. But I can finally use (all alone) this to decide what train I want to take home.

After leaving the train station, I decided what's thiry more minutes of walking? I shrugged and began the walk home. In Japan, I don't know street names. Some streets don't even have a name. I have to be creative and find landmarks. For example, the above sign always tells me which way to go. He's pointing home. It's a very low-tech navigation system.

Super Great and AVE

I've had some requests to show a couple of supermarkets. Two of them are within walking distance.

Noriko returning from her first time ever down these stairs in her neighborhood.

This is a view of the breezeway for the grocery that is closest. It's called "Super Great." I think. Or current parking spot is next door.

Walk down the stairs and you can go to this larger supermarket called AVE. It's part of a large chain. The correct pronunciation rhymes with navy.

"I am Caine."

Wednesday was my second day alone. I lazed around the house until about 11am and then decided to go for a five hour walk.

Start walking uphill, from Castle Iwabe, as if you hare headed to the parking spot. Halfway there, you will be looking down on this little neighborhood tucked away into a little valley. Noriko always dismissed my urges to run down the million steps and back up to have a look, so I decided to head down on my own.

After coming down the steps, take a look back up and say, "Dang that's steep."

Keep on walking, take a look at the entrance to an old bomb/storm shelter that will be on your left. Tepidly peer into it. Noriko told me that she's scared of them because a crazy homeless person could be hiding in one. That just makes me more curious! Where is Jeremy and a rope?

So you can get a grip on my level of Japanese, I could read/understand this sign without help!

This creek/storm drain runs next to the road for a nice little stretch (I also found out later, that J-Pop was in charge of building this project). As you can see, the course of the water is terraced or stepped. Each area has to fill and then spills over into the next.

Imagine my surprise when I peered over the railing and saw koi. That is one of the cool things about Japan. There are little surprises everywhere I look. This includes private yards. Half of them contain immaculate little "zen" gardens. Every little terraced area of the "creek" contained about 5-10 koi. Some young and some old. I'm guessing that in a heavy rain, little ones get washed down to the lower levels. I wish I could catch some and sell them in the States.

This orange koi was almost glowing gold. It was very beautiful.

Another example of some of the little surprises, here is another one: a Shinto shrine tucked away. I almost missed the mon (gate to a Shinto shrine) and the staircase beyond.

I'm still new enough in Japan, that I can't wait to see what's just around the corner or at the top of a temple/shrine staircase. The little spaces seem so quiet and tranquil.

The shrine is guarded by four of these fellows! J-Pop does a good impression of one these (squatting and baring his teeth). Many of our conversations include quite a bit of miming from both of us.

The Kurihama Hana no Kuni is a major Spring attraction in this area. Hana no Kuni means Flower Land. It's a huge flower garden. As you can see, it's not so flowerful at the moment. The entrance is under that bridge you can see in about the center of the picture. It's another nice steep walk up to the top.

Gojira!!!!The first thing I saw as a crested the hill. Not a good thing while strolling around Japan.

A children's park is at the top of Flower Land. This jungle gym is the largest I've ever seen. You can also climb inside Gojira's belly and then slide out of his butt. Cool.

This slide was actually a thousand little rollers. Cool.

Overlooking part of the port; Perry Park is down there somewhere. Oh yeah- I live by the ocean?

Overlooking part of Yokosuka

Two hours later, I made it back home. I felt better. I know how to get to a couple of places now. I have a better idea of my neighborhood in relation to the surrounding neighborhoods. I just have to decide, where will I go today?

Home Alone

Today was my first day, alone. J-units went to work. Noriko had her first day at a new job. Iwoke up with them and drove Noriko to the trainstation. The drive back (also my first drive alone) was a little exciting. For my chores (so they'll feed me tonight), I had to sweep the floors, vacuum the floors, hang the futons outside in the breeze (more like a gale), disassemble the kotatsu (see earlier post) and hang out all the blankets associated with it, clean the toilet, do the dishes, and fold laundry. I drove to the supermarket (where we have a parking space rented- also I think somebody took a pulltab from my private English teacher flyer) and picked out two little desserts for J-Mom and Noriko for Valentine's, I stepped in dog business, watched some TV, and I ate leftovers for lunch. I also watched an episode of Top Cops from the late 80s. I'd feel a whole lot better about this role, if I had an apron.


I bought two identical treats like the one on the far right. One for Noriko and one for J-Ma. In Japan, the women give the men a gift (so J-Ma already bought the other four cakes) on Valentine's Day. The men return the favor in March.

Ask and ye shall receive!

J-pop and J-ma are always cooking for me and beating me to my own laundry. If I glance sideways at a shop window, J-pop almost rushes in to see if they have my size (which is LL in Japan). Last night, with the help of a translator, I conveyed to them that I would like to do something more than washing dishes to pull my own weight. At the moment, I am still a housespouse. It turns out, J-pop has been thinking of cutting down some trees that line one side of the property. In the picture, it's the row of evergreens that runs diagonally from one corner of the frame to the other. They're not that big. But, I don't know if we have a saw, aze, chainsaw, etc. And whatever we get/have- I hope it's size LL.

Taking Care Of Business

UPDATE: The above dog is not it, and forgive me for not getting a picture, but a dog walked by me today, carrying it's own pooper scooper. I was dumbfounded. Photo-op passed.

So, in Japan, yards are usually very small (in or near urban areas) or nonexistent. Anybody with a dog has to take them for a walk. I see dogs all the time: little dogs, big dogs, dogs in t-shirts, naked dogs, etc. I also see dogs doing their business. Usually, their pet human, probably trained at human obedience school, deftly catches their business before it even hits the ground. I have never seen dog business on the ground or road- until today. I stepped in the only pile of business in Japan. I can't believe it. Thank you for your support.

Horsepower to Ponypower

Side by side comparisons. The SUV on the left is a regular size, 4-Runner type car. The truck on the right is some kind of miniature flatbed.

Even next to Noriko, the car is obviously volume-challenged.

Our "new" car was delivered Friday night. It's a Suzuki Wagon-R. It boasts an engine of 660 cubic centimeters. I have no idea what kind of horsepower it has. We filled up the tank at the reasonable price of 149 yen per liter. I think that's about $5 a gallon. It's about four times as expensive to buy gas, but we actually need to use the car about four times as less. There are many models of 660cc engine cars: trucks, SUVs, vans. They are easily spotted by size and for some reason their license plates are all yellow. The top picture was taken at our parking spot that is a 5 minute walk from the house. However, Noriko just got off the phone and found us a new spot that is about 2.5 minutes away.

Shrine of the Fox

Tucked away in the neighborhood.

We were out walking the other day (actually it was dusk) and took a sidestreet. Tucked away, down the street and around the corner, was a little quiet nook. It looked like a little park. Inside the fence was a little Shinto shrine dedicated to the fox. Don't ask me to explain Shinto. It is Japan's original religion (if religion is even the right word). I'm not sure how Shinto people worship or what they are saying/thinking when they clap their hands and pray at a shrine. However, Noriko gets a kick out of telling other Japanese people that I'm, in fact, Shinto. They always say, "Honto(Really)?"

Through the "mon" and down the sidewalk.

Noriko thinks that this shrine was originally on someone's property. As the property was divided into lots and sold, the shrine remained intact. The little area around the shrine was so quiet. It seemed like a good place to sit and read or just get some peace and quiet. While I was taking these photographs, many people walked by and never even glanced inside the gate.

Closeup of older fox statue.

Closeup of newer statues.

View from the inside.

Here is what's inside the little house. A little wooden area in the middle (I think where the kami hangs out) and a ton of little fox figurines.

From my light googling on the subject of foxes and Shinto, I found out that originally, the kami associated with the fox was a man with two foxes at his feet. The foxes were his messengers. Now, mostly the fox is depicted. Like in many other cultures, the foxes and other animals are messengers of the gods. Shrines to the inari or kitsune are supposed to be the most numerous in Japan. This particular one is nothing special except it's close to our house and the first one I've seen.

For those interested in further study:

http://www.comnet.ca/~foxtrot/kitsune/kitsune1.htm

http://www.onmarkproductions.com/html/oinari.shtml

FYI: You can click pictures to make them bigger!

For those of you that don't know, you can click on any of the pictures in this blog to view them at a larger size. Also, I'm pretty sure, that if you want a copy for yourself, you can "right-click" and then select "save as."

This particular photo is just a streetscene from Yokohama. I went there on Monday to register with what I call an English teacher's stable.

Sacred Places

If you look over the top of the white van but below the top of th light post you might be able to see Mount Fuji. I saw it for the first time, this trip, last Sunday after aikido class (see Link section for directions). It's always shocking to see something like that when you're not expecting it. If you're from the plains, you can see how cultures around the world have come to respect, revere, and worship the mountains as gods themselves or as homes to the gods.


This is one of the giant shopping complexes in Yokosuka. I call it the Daiei Mall but I don't know if that's the local term. There's more on the left side fo the frame but it wouldn't fit in my eyepiece. It's big. I'm not even sure if I've seen it all yet. I heard that there's a floor of nothing but restaurants and I haven't seen that yet. I'm pretty sure it goes underground at least one level, also. I guess the mountains of long ago have had to give up some popularity with the malls of today. I wonder which of the two deserves more of our worship?

Poaching and Politicking

Mei: less than one year. You have to get them hooked on phonics at a young age.

Hayato at the park near his apartment.

Hayato flashing his gang sign at the ramen restaurant.

A couple of days ago we met up with Hitomi and her son Hayato. Hitomi is Noriko's friend from jr. high. We dropped by to chat them up and to establish a friendly candor with her son, Hayato. He was able to say "How are you?" I get kinda nervous around the children of her friends so I'm doing what I can to feel more at ease around Japanese children, in general. Partly because I'm not there 100% as a friend, and I'm trying to subtly demonstrate I could teach their children something. Hitomi insisted on treating us to lunch and since we're the "charitable" type, we accepted. I had Canton Ramen. I don't really know how that varies from just plain ol' ramen, but it was pretty good (and warm on a cold day). Just so you know, actual ramen is 1000x better than the cup noodles you buy at the grocery store. And it is on the cheaper side here. A giant bowl is usually 5 or 6 bucks.

The kid in the top picture belongs to Yumiko (she's in an earlier entry). We accompanied her to a shopping center where her oldest kid (Yui, 6) attends an English class. It was a good chance to watch a kids English class. There really wasn't much to it other than a lot of jumping and singing. And kids yelling.

Shoyu and Tail

The Japanese Blowfish

I'd like to say that I missed a day of posting because Blogger.com had some technical problems. While this did delay my previous post, it's not the whole truth. The whole truth involves a couple of four letter words: fugu and sake. Fugu is Japanese blowfish. Yes, THE poisonous one. You have to sign a liability release form in restaurants prior to ordering it. Noriko's parents mail-ordered a packaged dinner ($200!!!) and two days later we feasted! I don't remember signing anything.

We had fugu sashimi (pictured above), fugu skin peelings, fugu stew (both pictures below). Fugu sashimi is cut very thin. The thinner the piece, the better the cook. It is served on a decorative dish whose pattern is meant to be seen through the slices of fish. J-Pop and Ma were a little disappointed the dish we received wasn't more colorful.
Fugu from the stew.

Fugu stew: fugu, cabbage, mushrooms, tofu (and some seasonings)

According to the experts (actually I guessed and they confirmed), the poison is in it's liver. Either one of my mutant powers is immunity to fugu poison (how cool!) or I didn't get any bits of liver in my bowl. Fugu-man would be a good name and the costume would be easy enough. Now we're getting around to the part where I passed out soon after supper (and neglected my blog). Before supper, Noriko yelled upstaris to me, "Are you going to drink with Dad tonight?" I imagined a couple of tiny shots of sake and said ,"Sure! After all, we're eating fugu tonight!" I also halfway thought that maybe the sake would help neutralize any poison I might ingest. Well it turns out our little sake glasses were full size water glasses. I sipped on and finished one during the sashimi course of the meal and needed a refill by the time the stew was ready. Me and J-pop had a few good laughs about some things I can't remember. J-Pop had the tail of the fugu floating around in his. I have to admit, I was a little jealous. I wanted something floating in mine. Soon he was in his usual prebath position, prone on the floor, half asleep, repeating English words he knew that were related to the "potato recipes" show we were watching, "Sweet potato. Baked potato. Fried potato." I was on the other side of the kotatsu (see earlier blog entry for definition of kotatsu), prone, silently repeating those words, half asleep.

Seeing I was headed for dreamland, Noriko suggested I hit the sack. Now you know the whole story behind my missing blog entry. The fugu was good. The sake was good. The potato was good.

Note: We also had lightly fried sardines and aji (a very tasty fish). You can see those pictures in a later entry about my favorite thing in Japan: the food!

Definitions: Shoyu- pronounced SHOW (as in "show and tell") and YOU, soy sauce

Business Opportunity

For any of you interested in making some big money, I have found an item that is not yet available in the States. I don't know what they call it over here but I call it the Hannibal Lechter Face-Shrinking Sleep Mask. You wear it in your sleep to make your face smaller. The more I think about it, the more I've realized that I haven't seen many Japanese with oversized faces. They all seem to be about the right size. I have noticed many people wearing surgical masks. Noriko tells me it's because of allergies and colds, but I think they're hiding the Japanese secret shame of a large face. To tell you the truth, when I first saw it, I was kinda hopeful it was an anti-snoring mask. If any of you have some marketing ideas, let's get started!

Warning: Doutor Ahead. Expect A Slow Day.

Just because there was no earthquake today, I didn't go skiing, have a job interview, and I'm posting a picture of a coffee shop, doesn't mean that it was a slow day.

We went to city hall, the post office, met a translator, city hall, lunch, shopping, the mall, (oh yeah, that coffee shop in the picture after lunch) the 100 yen store (much better than the 100 penny store in the USA), dinner, and finally back home.

Whenever we meet her dad for lunch, or J-Pop as I'm going to start calling him, he likes to have coffee afterwards. I'm usually not a big fan of afternoon coffee (or morning coffee for that matter) but this coffee is GOOD. They told me Doutour is a pretty big chain over here. It's pretty small and smoky so it won't be on my list of possible places for private English lessons.

OK, OK, so it was kind of a slow day! :P

P.S. However, tonight is the eve of Setsubun. All I will say is that I'm supposed to hang the head of a sardine outside and maybe a clove of garlic. J-Pop and uhh... J-Ma? won't let me. It has something to do with the potential odor. That's all I can say. I better save the rest for tomorrow, in case it's another slow day.

That damned giant catfish!

Probably what the catfish god looks like, only bigger.*


I almost forgot. Last night was my first earthquake since I've been here. The door started rattling like someone was trying to get in. Naturally, I started to jump to my feet to defend the castle. It was finally time to lead some poor ninja down the stair/trap! Before I was fully up, the rest of the house trembled a little bit. At this point my eyes were kinda big and Noriko, Izumi, and Yoshie were all looking at me with wide eyes. They then started chuckling since I seemed to be confused. Hello? The earth is shaking! Why is everyone just drinking tea like nothing happened?

Today's news said it was a 5.4 and the epicenter was in Chiba. I think that's across Tokyo Bay. Noriko just looked over my shoulder and reassured me, "Don't worry. It happens all the time."

More tea, anyone?

*If you are the guy holding this catfish and you are reading this, please don't sue me. I'll take the picture off. Have fun noodling!

Short version of my 2nd job interview: I said, "No."

So I went to my second job interview. It was for a position as a teacher at a private school. The building was traditional and moder at the same time. It was very beautiful and the director and his wife were both extremely kind. They have been in business since 1971. The founder has developed everything himself: the teaching method, teaching props, the business plan, etc. They have a teacher's room with desks and materials for creating props. Really, it was a nice setup.

They offer about $2500 a month as a starting salary. From this, they deduct $900. The school pays your homestay family $600 a month (yes, even though my homestay family is in actuality my family I would be required to pay them) and they pocket the other $300 to help keep running the homestay program. I couldn't understand why we couldn't just skip the whole homestay process. Why are they keeping my $300? I'm not even working there and I feel cheated. They also supply a company vehicle. So, I'd have to rent another parking space. That would be about another $120 deduction. The work week is 4o hours and the pay has 10 hours of overtime already figured into it for the month. This puts the basic wage at about $12-15 dollars per hour.

The workday would be as follows: Go to the school HQ in the morning. Prepare the lesson plans for the day. Head to the first location. Head to the second and third (and maybe fourth class) and then head home. Some days, the teachers have to help with office duties and do some substituting for other teachers. And you frequently have to video and audio record your classes. You also don't get paid until you turn in all of your lesson plans and recordings for the previous weeks.

Other things I didn't care for were some stipulations in the contract. Upon completion of the contract, the teacher can't teach in the same prefecture for two years (without written consent). This would be like being told you can't teach in your home state for two years. You also can't teach for free or for fee at any other location while employed.

The actual interview wasn't so bad. They actually need someone ASAP to fill a recently vacated position. The director queried me on how would I teach this/that, open, and long/short. I knew it was a trap and that the obvious answers would be wrong. I went ahead and let the jaws snap shut so we could get on with the process. He knowingly nodded and then proceeded to demonstrate the way that he designed. The way that Cambridge "borrowed" from him. I agreed that his way was a lot better.

Next up was for me to give my rendition of The Eensy Beensy Spider and Old Macdonald. Well I did my best. I changed the lyrics back to "itsy bitsy" but my poor little spider had quite a time climbing up the waterspout. It also had some time getting washed out. I have no personal recollection of ever singing that song with the gestures (It's time to learn). Also, the animal I chose was an oink oink here. I usually sing that song in the shower or on a long drive so I've ended up with some strange animals on my farm. By the time I got to "...he had a ______..." I realized I hadn't chosen an appropriate animal, yet. Finally "OINK" came. Ihave to admit that I wasn't exactly prepared to do any singing. I was more prepared for a rendition of "El Paso" or "Folsom Prison Blues."

Everything else was pretty straightforward. They gave me a contract to take home and asked to call them the next day. If I accepted, I would visit a class and then suddenly take over the class for a few minutes. They would watch my performance and determine if I'm trainable. They told me, "Don't worry. Of course you won't do well. You haven't been shown our method." Walking into their traps in the interview was one thing. I didn't like the idea of doing it again for an audience.

Today I called him and had to break the news. He sounded genuinely upset. They were really nice people and so I did feel a little bad. But I'm trying to run my own business called Me, Inc. There would've been too much running around and there were too many clauses allowing them to keep me under lock and guard. Back to the classifieds!

Engrish Lesson 2:House of Pain

I'm too lazy to see what "pain" is in French. In the meantime, let's make fun of this restaurant's name! I wonder what the pain du'jour is?

It's nice to see what one can expect when they visit this clinic. I bet that's one cold stethoscope. I wonder what the good doctor is hiding behind his back?

Use the Force

When away from the familiar (Green Country) I've noticed something strange about my thoughts. Actions or thoughts that were introduced or taught to me by someone back home, trigger a memory of that person. For example, I was thinking, "Where am I going to change the oil in my clown car?" Suddenly, an image of my stepfather teaching me to change the oil in my first car hit me (Love you and miss you!). Another time, I was trying to "rig" up something and my Dad's voice lectured me about "Okay Engineering" (Love you and miss you!). It's like Obi-Wan giving me hints on how to destroy the death star. I guess it's a way to keep loved ones close that are far away. I'll let you know when I start talking back to them. And Mom always asks, "Why don't my children ever listen to me? (Love you and miss you!)"

p.s. Mom, what's the correct punctuation for the above construction? Does the final punctuation go inside the parenthetical note? Does the parenthetical note go inside the quotes?